Taking control over your life is more than a pop psychology bumper sticker notice. It is taking the step towards autonomy; it creates a power of thought and of pro activity. This is where manifesting starts.

In order to get to this point, we need to have the confidence to act on our instincts. To trust that the decisions we make are the right ones. When we trust ourselves to take action, we initiate will. When we put this into exercise, we learn about our strengths and weaknesses.  But it also means that we need to step out of the realm of safety, step outside of the comfort zone. Power, like a muscle, will not increase by doing nothing. Depending on how much you trust yourself, this can be easier said than done.

If we know the recipe to empower ourselves, why aren’t we doing it? Because we don’t believe in it. How come we don’t believe in it?

We come into this world, fully trusting our instincts. We act according to our emotions but soon we are told that this is not ok. In order to function in society, we are being taught what is accepted and what is not.  We then modify our actions to correspond to what is acceptable. This creates an internal conflict between what we authentically would express and what we now know is right. We come to the understanding that what we feel is wrong. So if I feel it but it’s wrong, there must be something not right with me. I am bad. This is where we start to develop shame.

Our first experiences of shame are often linked to a humiliating situation.  Humiliation makes us feel worthless. Therefore, shame is the assassin of power. The more we feel shame, the less we feel empowered and our Ego will have difficulties to take its shape.

Shame puts us in our place, keeps us to what is conventionally accepted and creates jealousy. Shame bound people honor their thoughts more than their instincts. The most powerful thoughts in their mind are the ones that created shame to start with (i.e. humiliation).

The best way to heal your wounds is to create an understanding. The more you can see that shame was brought upon you by ignorance, the more you can see that the people inflicting this on you, acted out of their frame of understanding.  Once again it comes down to the inner reality. If they acted according to what they had been inflicted with, then it wasn’t really about you. Understand that whatever people say or do to you is a reflection of what is going on within them. It isn’t personal.