To be the Chosen One

I had this feeling that was such a recognisable sensation. Like a knife cutting into my stomach, no in the solar plexus really. I tried so hard to follow it’s message, what truly did that feeling tell me? What was the underlying reality that was so horrible to face that it made me weak and wanting to fall to the earth?

It was a feeling of shame. But I did not see it then. I know it now, after having processed it.

It manifests in different ways for each and everyone, because it will attach to our “Achilles heel”. There might be one specific thing, but I would say that for most of us, there are several.

It attaches itself to anything that we have been taught is proof that we are accomplished, worthy. And I know that most of us have heard this before and will not hear what I’m saying right now, for themselves. Because as long as we stay on the “politically correct” level of “we are all worthy” or “you are unique in your own way”, we don’t really accept it. Because I think we have a deeper wound that will not accept this truth as long it does not actually hone in on it.

To be the ONE. To be the EXTRAORDINARY. To be the Chosen one.

In our physical appearance

Within the siblings/cousins/extended family

In our friendships

In the love relationships

In our profession

In life

The drive that I feel is the engine for our actions, the drive for being the exception.

And the more I was thinking around it, the more I was trying to taste the “after taste” in my actions and dealings, the more I could see that it wasn’t just me.

But it expresses itself differently. It can be a constant seeking for confirmation that I am definitely the chosen or it can also be a refuse to let others near in case I would realise that I am not that special after all.

What I noticed as well was that the shame was so strong towards this feeling that I had refused to acknowledge it all my life. Because it is really embarrassing to say “ I need to be number one”. This is why you might have felt already by now “well this is not my me”. But you know what? I think it is. Because I think we all have been instructed with this as a survival mechanism.

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Hi, I’m Charlotte (Yogi Cha). I’m a yoga teacher with a degree in clinical psychology. I’ve always had a deep curiosity toward eastern and western approaches to understanding the mind, and the ming/body union. You’ll find me in the lovely Canggu Bali, nestled amongst coconuts, palm trees and sunshine 🌴🌞